Right hand in a trench coat

I hope you like things because I like things.

A Dog’s Morning Routine

1) sigh fifty times before the alarm goes off
2) jump out of bed and march in circles (on hardwood) for three minutes while the sweet dulcet tones of NPR wash over owner
3) run out bedroom and start walking in circles in hallway (on hardwood)
4) jump when owner walks out of bedroom
5) whine when owner goes into bathroom
6) keep sighing and walking in circles (on hardwood) while owner does their business
7) jump when owner leaves bathroom, lead owner down stairs
8) whine while owner puts on shoes and jacket
9) jump when owner grabs leashes
10) march in circles around owner while they try to attach leash to collar
11) sprint out the door and pull owner down stairs
12) immediately try to piss in the corner of elevated yard, to put off any and every walker-by
13) walk, give the business to any person with the audacity to say ‘good morning’ to owner
14) start walking faster to get home to food after business has been done
15) run into the house and immediately go upstairs
16) sprint downstairs upon hearing food hit bowl
17) sleep on couch

  1. dennymayo posted this